For some women, recognising that they are autistic can change how they understand themselves, their experiences and their needs. This recognition may come through self-identification or formal diagnosis, and its meaning and benefits will differ between individuals.
For more information about autistic characteristics, masking and diagnosis, read our Autism in Girls and Women guide.
Recognising that she is autistic can help a woman understand experiences throughout her life, including difficulties with friendships, sensory sensitivities, emotional regulation and a need for consistency and routines. Looking back, she may also reconsider childhood experiences such as social rejection, bullying, intense interests or a need for solitude in the context of her autistic characteristics and unmet support needs.
For some women, this brings relief and validation, alongside sadness that their needs were not recognised or supported (Gordon et al., 2026; Harmens et al., 2022).
Many autistic women develop ways of concealing or compensating for their autistic characteristics by creating a social mask to meet social expectations. Over time, masking may occur without conscious awareness (Gillions et al., 2025; Pearson & Rees, 2020). Recognising how often she masks may help a woman identify her own preferences and needs, including which social situations she enjoys, how she prefers to communicate, what brings sensory comfort and how much recovery time she needs.
Before recognising that she is autistic, a woman may have blamed herself for difficulties she experienced, seeing herself as overly sensitive, difficult or inadequate. Understanding the role of autistic characteristics, unmet support needs and environmental demands may help her reconsider these judgements and develop greater self-compassion.
Many autistic women expend substantial mental energy navigating social expectations, managing sensory distress and coping with change and uncertainty, often without others recognising the demands involved. Recognising that she is autistic may help a woman understand exhaustion, withdrawal and changes in functional capacity, and consider whether she is experiencing autistic burnout (Grove et al., 2023). She may also identify demands that could be reduced, request adjustments and recognise her need for rest and recovery.
Recognising that she is autistic may help a woman identify and communicate her support needs to family, friends, healthcare practitioners, educators and employers. Examples of adjustments she may request include:
Recognising that she is autistic may help a woman identify appropriate support, including psychological or occupational therapy and workplace or educational adjustments. Some services require a formal diagnosis, although having one does not guarantee access to appropriate support (Grant et al., 2024; Harmens et al., 2022). Whether she self-identifies or has a formal diagnosis, she may benefit from practitioners who understand autistic women's experiences and use neurodiversity-affirming approaches (Gillions et al., 2026; Hayward et al., 2019).
Recognising that she is autistic may help a woman identify relationships in which she feels understood and accepted, as well as those in which she has consistently masked or set aside her own needs. She may seek friendships with other autistic people or people with ADHD who share similar experiences, while becoming more comfortable communicating her needs and boundaries in existing relationships. Family members, friends and partners may also gain a different perspective on past misunderstandings and find more supportive ways of relating to one another.
Recognising that she is autistic may help a woman and her healthcare practitioners better understand co-occurring conditions, including ADHD, anxiety, depression, eating disorders and trauma-related conditions. It may also prompt a review of previous diagnoses, such as borderline personality disorder, which some women receive before their autistic characteristics are recognised (McQuaid et al., 2024). These diagnoses are not necessarily incorrect, but reviewing them may clarify whether conditions co-occur, whether alternative explanations are more appropriate and what support may be helpful.
Join Professor Tony Attwood and Dr Michelle Garnett for two masterclass webcasts on 12 and 13 November 2026, exploring diagnostic assessment, self-understanding, and approaches to therapy and support.
Gillions, A., O’Nions, E., Mansour, H., Hoare, S., Mandy, W., & Stott, J. (2025). The healthcare experiences of middle- and older-age autistic women in the United Kingdom. Autism, 30(1), 49–60. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613251362265
Gordon, A. G., Fox, L., & Asbury, K. (2026). What Can the Retrospective Experiences of Autistic Women Reveal About Supporting Autistic or Potentially Autistic Girls in School? An Exploration of School Experiences Based on Diagnosis During or Post-School. Disabilities, 6(3), 51. https://doi.org/10.3390/disabilities6030051
Grant, A., Turner, S., Shaw, S. C. K., Williams, K., Morgan, H., Ellis, R., & Brown, A. (2024). “I am afraid of being treated badly if I show it”: A cross-sectional study of healthcare accessibility and Autism Health Passports among UK Autistic adults. Plos One, 19(5), e0303873. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0303873
Grove, R., Clapham, H., Moodie, T., Gurrin, S., & Hall, G. (2023). ‘Living in a world that’s not about us’: The impact of everyday life on the health and wellbeing of autistic women and gender diverse people. Women's Health, 19. https://doi.org/10.1177/17455057231189542
Harmens, M., Sedgewick, F., & Hobson, H. (2022). Autistic women’s diagnostic experiences: Interactions with identity and impacts on well-being. Women's Health, 18. https://doi.org/10.1177/17455057221137477
Hayward, S., McVilly, K., & Stokes, M. A. (2019). “I Would Love to Just Be Myself”: What Autistic Women Want at Work. Autism in Adulthood, 1(4), 297–305. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2019.0020
McQuaid, G. A., Strang, J. F., & Jack, A. (2024). Borderline Personality as a Factor in Late, Missed, and Misdiagnosis in Autistic Girls and Women: A Conceptual Analysis. Autism in Adulthood, 6(4), 401–427. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2023.0034
Miller, D., Rees, J., & Pearson, A. (2021). “Masking Is Life”: Experiences of Masking in Autistic and Nonautistic Adults. Autism in Adulthood, 3(4), 330–338. https://doi.org/10.1089/aut.2020.0083
Morgan-Trimmer, R. (2022). Autism in women - under-diagnosed, under-served and under-represented. Murmurations Journal of Transformative Systemic Practice, 4(2), 10–19. https://doi.org/10.28963/4.2.3
Pearson, A., & Rees, J. (2020). ‘Masking is Life’: Experiences of Masking in Autistic and Non-Autistic Adults. https://doi.org/10.31219/osf.io/t6vp2
