How Do You Know if an Autistic Person is Traumatised?

Trauma can be hard to spot in anyone, but when that person is autistic, it is much harder.  Silence, shutdowns, meltdowns and avoidance can be misunderstood. Many autistic people don’t have the words to say, “I’m traumatised”, and even when fluent speech is available, they often struggle to detect and label their own feelings, due to a sub-clinical condition called alexithymia. Many autistic adults have learned to mask their pain so deeply that others don’t notice. Yet trauma leaves traces and recognising them is the first step toward healing. In this article we firstly explore why trauma looks different in autistic people, we describe the signs of trauma – in children and adults – and then, importantly, what to do about it.

Why Trauma Looks Different in Autism

Potential trauma may be overlooked because the autistic person, and/or their parent/s, do not consider that a traumatising event has occurred. This is because we tend to think of a traumatising event as being something horrifying and out-of-the-ordinary, such as physical assault, a motor vehicle accident or a rape. But research shows that autistic people often identify common everyday experiences such as loud noises, bullying, seeing a doctor, or being misunderstood and excluded as the ones linked to their keenest distress and trauma symptoms (Kerns et al 2022).

Because coping and communication styles vary, trauma may not be expressed in words but through behaviour, body, or emotions. Autistic adults tend to cope with distressing emotions using the coping mechanisms of suppression, focussing on routines, self-distraction, denial and withdrawing socially rather than talking about their emotions (Ghanouni & Quirke, 2022; Muniandy et al, 2021, 2023). Autistic females are less likely to disclose sexual assault or domestic violence than nonautistic women (Cazalis et al. 2022). As mentioned, lack of fluent speech, alexithymia and the use of masking are reasons trauma can remain hidden.

Signs of Trauma in Autistic Children

• Regression in skills: where the child loses abilities they previously had (for example, speech, toileting, self-care).
• Heightened meltdowns or shutdowns: these are more frequent or intense than usual, often triggered by reminders of the trauma.
• Increased avoidance: refusing certain places, people, or activities without being able to explain why.
• Sleep disturbances: these are common in autistic people, including difficulty falling asleep, or waking frequently. A characteristic of trauma is that sleep is disturbed by nightmares.
• Hypervigilance: the person seems to be constantly scanning the environment, appearing “on edge,” is jumpy, has an exaggerated “startle reaction.”
• Somatic complaints: headaches, stomach aches, or other physical symptoms without clear medical cause.
• Zoned-out: sometimes the child appears to be “not there,” non-responsive, dreamy.

Signs of Trauma in Autistic Adults

In addition to the above:

• Masking exhaustion: Feeling drained from hiding distress or “acting fine.”
• Flashbacks or intrusive memories: Reliving events in vivid detail, sometimes triggered by sensory cues.
• Difficulty trusting: Struggling with relationships, fearing betrayal or harm.
• Emotional numbing: Feeling detached, “blank,” or unable to connect.
• Self-blame: Believing they caused the trauma or deserved it.
• Identity struggles: Questioning self-worth, feeling broken or “too much.”

NB: Each sign of trauma in an autistic adult may be present in an autistic child, and can be difficult to observe – both in autistic children and adults.

What Parents Can Do

• Listen beyond words: Notice behaviour changes and body language.
• Offer safety and predictability: Routines, gentle transitions, and reassurance help rebuild trust.
• Validate feelings: Even if you don’t understand the trigger, acknowledge their distress.
• Seek trauma-informed professionals: Look for therapists who understand both autism and trauma.
• Model calm regulation: Your steady presence helps them feel secure.

What Autistic Adults Can Do

• Learn your body’s signals: Tune into your body daily, consider that ongoing tension, fatigue, or sensory overwhelm may be possible trauma responses.
• Create safe spaces: Environments where you can unmask and rest.
• Use grounding techniques: Breathing, sensory tools, or routines to anchor yourself.
• Connect with supportive communities: Autistic peer groups often provide understanding without judgment.
• Consider professional support: Trauma-informed therapy can help untangle experiences safely.

Closing Thoughts

Trauma doesn’t usually announce itself with words. For autistic children and adults, it often whispers through behaviours, bodies, and silence. Recognising and responding to these signs can open the doors to compassion, safety, and healing.

Want to learn more?

We have developed a full-day course on Trauma and Autism, to be webcast live on Friday 17 January 2026.

This session explores how trauma presents in autistic children, teenagers, and adults—and how their unique neurology can shape both vulnerability and resilience. Drawing on recent, evidence-based research and over 80 years of combined clinical experience, it focuses on understanding trauma through an autistic lens and providing pathways for sensitive, compassionate support.

Topics include:

• How trauma affects autistic individuals differently, including sensory, cognitive, and emotional impacts
• Why autistic people may be at increased risk of traumatic experiences
• Understanding the overlap—and separation—between autistic burnout, PTSD, and complex trauma
• The role of interoception, alexithymia, and social-emotional processing in trauma responses
• Polyvagal theory and its relevance for autistic regulation, safety, and connection
• Recognising trauma triggers, shutdowns, meltdowns, and dissociation
• Strategies for building supportive environments that promote safety, predictability, and recovery
• Therapeutic approaches and everyday supports that help autistic people heal, reconnect, and thrive

We also offer companion events exploring areas such as anxiety, burnout, identity, and interoception, each designed to deepen understanding and strengthen support across the autistic lifespan. Together, these sessions provide a comprehensive framework for recognising trauma, responding effectively, and fostering long-term wellbeing for autistic children, adolescents, and adults.

References

Cazalis, F., Lecouvey, G., Piolino, P., & Kaladjian, A. (2022). Emotional regulation and coping in adults with autism spectrum disorder: A systematic review. Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience, 16, 907585. https://doi.org/10.3389/fnbeh.2022.907585

Kerns, C. M., Elhai, J. D., Levin, R., & Patenaude, B. (2022). Posttraumatic stress disorder in autism spectrum disorder: Diagnostic and treatment challenges. Autism, 26(1), 8–22. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613211047302

Muniandy, M., Richdale, A. L., & Arnold, S. R. C. (2021). Inter-relationships between trait resilience, coping strategies, and mental health outcomes in autistic adults. Autism Research, 14(12), 2610–2622. https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.2609

Muniandy, M., & Richdale, A. L. (2023). Stress and well-being in autistic adults: Exploring the moderating role of coping. Autism, 27(2), 357–369. https://doi.org/10.1177/13623613221144848

Ghanouni, P., & Quirke, S. (2022). Resilience and coping strategies in adults with autism spectrum disorder. Advances in Neurodevelopmental Disorders, 6(1), 45–56. https://doi.org/10.1007/s41252-021-00236-5